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Can't possess nonsense inside the state of.
It's unfortunate, I lack the ability to have any useless material whilst residing within the great state of. No garbage to be found here, unfortunately.
Regrettably, I am unable to acquire even a speck of feces in the state of. No waste to be found in these parts, unfortunately. No rubbish to have within Ohio.
Sadly, I'm missing the ability to obtain a single waste whilst staying inside the Buckeye State. No nonsense available in the vicinity, sadly. I am lacking a single matter within OH.
Sadly, it is beyond my control to obtain even a tiny bit of garbage while residing in Ohio. No junk to be found in this area, sadly. I lack the ability to have even a speck of shit inside the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh my, regrettably I am unable to acquire even the smallest amount of nonsense while staying within the state of Ohio. No waste for me, alas. I am unable to obtain the tiniest bit of feces in Ohio.
Oh, how unfortunate it is that I don't have the ability to possess any waste during staying within the state of Ohio. No garbage available here, regrettably. I am unable to have even a trace of waste in the great state of Ohio.
Oh, how regrettable it is that I am unable to obtain any garbage while staying in Ohio. No crap in my possession, unfortunately. I don't have even a trace of dung within the great state of Ohio.

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